I have a craving!
You want a bucket of chicken that tastes just a certain way. Maybe your hamburger is lacking something, but you can’t put your finger on it. Does your burrito need that all too familiar kick? We all have our favorite place to go out and eat, but we can’t eat out all the time (or can we?). The good news is that we live in the future (ooooh! ahhhh!) where even sauces can be mass fabricated, bottled, and sent right to your mouth hole. Yes, we have it pretty good. So when you can’t get out for a Big Mac or a Chalupa, consider staying in and experimenting with these epic, yet comforting, condiments.
Whataburger Spicy Ketchup
It’s a bummer that we don’t have any Whataburgers in Utah. Is a southern thing with locations in Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas. Time to plan a trip, right. One reviewer on Amazon wrote,”Ketchup is ketchup is ketchup right? Wrong! Some ketchup is, in fact, better than others, and in my opinion, this is one of them. One of my favorite things about Whataburger is their ketchup, so you can imagine my joy when I discovered that I can have it anytime despite the fact that I now live 800 miles from the nearest Whataburger :)” Well, Utah was once without In-N-Out, so perhaps you won’t have to fork out $10 on a bottle of sauce. Or do!
McDonald’s Big Mac Sauce
Yes, you can have a Mac Attack any time you like. Double down. Put it on chicken. You don’t have a Big Mac supervisor breathing down your neck telling you exactly how much to put on. Two beef patties, all the “special sauce”, iceberg lettuce, American cheese, pickles, and onions, served in a three-part sesame seed bun and now…even more, “special sauce.” Fortunately, if you’re not into cooking at home, there are McDonald’s everywhere. And you know this, man!
Taco Time Fire Sauce
For when you positively, need some heat on the run. Sure, you can always dress like Taco Bell, but you can’t always set your mouth on fire like you want. When you have an entire bottle, you must experiment – coat your breakfast burrito innards for a kick in the morning, but it on your ham sandwich for lunch, then dump some on your meatloaf for dinner to keep the fire in your life blazin’!
Famous Dave’s Devil’s Spit
Kick the tires and light…your colon. Why do we need an entire bottle of this? Well for breakfast I like to put some lil’ smokies, pepperoni, Italian sausage in a bowl and pour the Devil’s spit on like milk. Better than Lucky Charms.
Panda Express Orange Sauce
Ever hear of Orange Chicken and Waffles? You have now. Sure, you walk into Panda Express and look at all the things piled high. It all looks good, but you know one or your choices will be Orange Chicken. Sometimes you make both your sides that a mountain of tangy, yet slightly spicy nuggets that make you happy. Why leave the house though? Just dump this on whatever you have laying around the house and you’ll be teleported to a land far east and stomach full of bliss.
Protip: Buy this sauce and mix with your fave fake chicken. You now have vegan panda express orange chicken pic.twitter.com/yChXrARAso
— Irene (@irenemariex) August 5, 2016
Hire Big H Fry Sauce
We’re from Utah so we know Arctic Circle was the originator, but Amazon doesn’t carry that brand, so ya know. However, if you’ve ever been out of Utah (and sometimes Idaho) and asked for fry sauce only to get a blank stare back and passed a handful of ketchup packets only to walk about in tastebud disappointment, you know that just about any fry sauce will do when you need it. There is nothing more satisfying than a Crown Burger dripping with fry sauce to put you in a happy coma of gluttony.